luni, 8 august 2011
joi, 2 iunie 2011
OCD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDe3hfFlBtk&feature=channel_video_title
Iar e noapte. Pandesc pe langa casele acelea insiruite ca vulturii pe langa prada, si astept un moment. N-as putea spune ce, aud soapte de oameni si vreau sa-i ocolesc. Sunt adunati prin curti iar eu ii observ in treacat, cu inima ajunsa in gat, asa tarandu-ma pe langa pardoseli de garaje. Nici nu ma uit prea bine in jur, daca as observa ceva clar, sigur as ramane mai mult timp pe loc. In dreapta mea se deschide o gaura imensa, cu pereti moi de pamant umed, in fundul careia se intrec si se lovesc masini. Intotdeauna zbor prea jos, iar mainile intinse ale oamenilor ma opresc din cand in cand… Fosnai la randul meu frunzele copacilor, si simt crengutele subtiri si intoarse cum imi zgarie fata. In fata gurii de metrou, infundata de apa, se misca resturi de gunoaie vegetale si bule de aer. Arata moale ca o perna semi transparenta, in mijlocul Ramnicului plin de duzi si de tei. Ma arunc in ea ca intr-o imbratisare rece, dinamica in staticul ei, pulsatorie prin toate firele pielii care nu-mi apartin de fapt. Prin ochii inchisi, genele devin mici dinti ascutiti care-mi musca ochii si obrajii. Lichidul acela dens cu miros de fier ma ineaca, imi umfla plamanii ca niste bureti uscati si nefolositi de mult prea mult timp.
Nu vrem sa-i deranjam. Sunt sensibili la lumina.
Prima gura de aer. Dureroasa. Nu e de mirare ca nu mai tinem minte. Lumea e adunata pe langa sinele de tren, ce ciudat, aici nu mai e apa, nici stropi, nici urme. Ma controlez si observ ca am o gaura in piept, iar coastele-mi sunt sparte si ascutite. Pot sa-i observ pe ceilalti din spatele meu prin ea, femei, barbati, copii… toti in haine ponosite si zdrentuite, cu sacose mari, galbene, din plastic impletit. Si atunci incep sa rad. Sunt inauntru, asezata pe cele doua scaune gemene, si rad tinandu-ma de spatiul acela gol, dar nu ca sa ma acopar. O femeie varstnica scuipa in san si isi face cruce. O alta o intoarce insa, punandu-i mainile pe dupa umeri, dar nu dinspre mine. E ceva pe tavan si ma simt nevoita sa ridic ochii. Doar cerul. Clar si albastru, ametitor… Copilul divin face baie. Sunt eu cea care sta cu picioarele pe pamant, si toti ceilalti invers, cu capul in jos. Fiecare din ei sunt tot eu, o imagine multifatetata, cu reflexii pe diverse bucati, ca un film developat gresit, sunt tot eu cea care se tine de bara, cea care urla in mijlocul multimii, cel care citeste o pagina de ziar rupta, scrisa cu litere chirilice. Poze alb-negru din alte vieti trecute…
Iar e zi. Observ lumina printre genele ochilor intredeschisi, pe ecranul carora imi apare in dreapta jos “Nicio forma de viata”. Scarile colcaie insa, ma feresc de vase de drenaj si de manusi chirugicale murdare. Picioarele de paianjen din metal si beton armat pe care le urc la nesfarsit ma aduc in mijlocul unui subsol intunecat , cu miros umed de putregai. Pardoseala luceste in urme cleioase, lasate parca de niste melci enormi fara casa. In drum, strivesc ceva viu sub talpa, o carne moale si calda, care se desface exact ca o palma in 5 directii, emanand aceeasi bula de miros de putregai. Totul se rastoarna de sus in jos.
Picioarele mele sunt copite care se transforma in gheare ascutite, care la randul lor se transforma in aripi de liliac. Strabat parcul IOR cand in zbor, cand in fuga, calcand apa murdara, stropindu-mi corpul si strivindu-mi cand blana, cand aripile, cand pielea. Devine enorm, zeci de lacuri se desprind din el, zeci de insule incep sa pluteasca sau sa se scufunde in urma mea… un adevarat carusel pe care il urc, dar nu ajung niciodata sa-l cobor.
Pentru ca intotdeauna in punctul cel mai inalt se rupe sina.
Pe strada toti oamenii sunt grupati. In stanga mea, un grup de femei jupuie un animal de viu, un pui de tigru galben, pe care il lovesc in cap cu piatra, si-l taie pe burta cu sisurile. E prea slabit ca sa mai riposteze, suera incet, cu sunete de balon de grasime care se desumfla. Ma arunc in gramada lor si musc pe cineva de gat. Sangele cald tasneste in toate directiile, si toti se dau in spate, privindu-mi restul de carne care imi atarna de gura, si ochii rosii care sclipesc de turbare.
- E al meu! E al meu! E al meu! E al meu! De doua ori al meu, de trei ori chiar. Intelegeti? De cinci ori al meu, ca cinci e o cifra mai buna. Nu, de 10 ori e al meu, ca 1+0 face tot 1, si asa ne intoarcem de unde am plecat si nu e normal. E al meu! De 11 ori!
Il strang intr-un prosop si il iau in brate. Are ochii albastrii de margele iar blana murdara si incleiata se revarsa peste incheieturile mainilor mele… ii prind sclipirea rasuflarii, ma gandesc ca iar trebuie sa ma scufund in apa aceea de deasupra mea, si apoi incep sa imi ling ranile. Gaura din piept e de fapt o taietura.
Iar e noapte. Stam grupati in pat, cu usa de la camera incuiata, cu aluminiu subtire pus in ferestre, cu masa de lemn langa noi, lemn jupuit si scorojit de atatea lichide varsate pe ea de-a lungul anilor, si ne tinem de maini. Fratii. Din cand in cand, cate unul se ridica din pat si se indreapta spre usa. Observam ca are degetele cianotice, culoare care se misca de-a lungul venelor de pe incheietura, pana sus spre umeri.
Sunt sensibili la intuneric.
Aceeasi ochi de sticla tulbure, aceeasi incordare a corpului, spasme care incep sa-i contorsioneze, oase care se rup. Si ies pe usa.
Raman singura. Iar ma ascund pe langa pardoseli de garaje, pe vine, si rasuflu fier si sulf. Groapa fluida din dreapta mea se misca si ea, odata cu mersul meu tarat. Ajunge atat de aproape incat o simt ca pe o fiinta vie, dornica de contopire, o nevoie de simbioza pe care o inteleg . Indoi mana spre ceafa,si incep sa smulg suvite de par, pe care le umezesc sub forma de smocuri.
Sa numar pana la 11, vreau sa apuc sa numar pana la 11.
***
Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety, or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. Symptoms of the disorder include excessive washing or cleaning; repeated checking; extreme hoarding; preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts; aversion to particular numbers; and nervous rituals, such as opening and closing a door a certain number of times before entering or leaving a room. These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoid and potentially psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their obsessions and compulsions as irrational, and may become further distressed by this realization.
Biological
OCD has been linked to abnormalities with the neurotransmitter serotonin, although it could be either a cause or an effect of these abnormalities. Serotonin is thought to have a role in regulating anxiety. To send chemical messages from one neuron to another, serotonin must bind to the receptor sites located on the neighboring nerve cell. It is hypothesized that the serotonin receptors of OCD sufferers may be relatively understimulated. This suggestion is consistent with the observation that many OCD patients benefit from the use of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), a class of antidepressant medications that allow for more serotonin to be readily available to other nerve cells.[20]
A possible genetic mutation may contribute to OCD. A mutation has been found in the human serotonin transporter gene, hSERT, in unrelated families with OCD.[21] Moreover, data from identical twins supports the existence of a "heritable factor for neurotic anxiety".[22] Further, individuals with OCD are more likely to have first-degree family members exhibiting the same disorders than do matched controls. In cases where OCD develops during childhood, there is a much stronger familial link in the disorder than cases in which OCD develops later in adulthood. In general, genetic factors account for 45-65% of OCD symptoms in children diagnosed with the disorder.[23] Environmental factors also play a role in how these anxiety symptoms are expressed; various studies on this topic are in progress and the presence of a genetic link is not yet definitely established.
People with OCD evince increased grey matter volumes in bilateral lenticular nuclei, extending to the caudate nuclei, while decreased grey matter volumes in bilateral dorsal medial frontal/anterior cingulate gyri.[24][25] These findings contrast with those in people with other anxiety disorders, who evince decreased (rather than increased) grey matter volumes in bilateral lenticular / caudate nuclei, while also decreased grey matter volumes in bilateral dorsal medial frontal/anterior cingulate gyri.[25] Orbitofrontal cortex overactivity is attenuated in patients who have successfully responded to SSRI medication, a result believed to be caused by increased stimulation of serotonin receptors 5-HT2A and 5-HT2C.[26] The striatum, linked to planning and the initiation of appropriate actions, has also been implicated; mice genetically engineered with a striatal abnormality exhibit OCD-like behavior, grooming themselves three times as frequently as ordinary mice.[27] Recent evidence supports the possibility of a heritable predisposition for neurological development favoring OCD.[28]
Rapid onset of OCD in children may be caused by Group A streptococcal infection, a condition hypothesized by its acronym PANDAS.[29]
Neurotransmitters role
Researchers have yet to pinpoint the exact cause of OCD, but brain differences, genetic influences, and environmental factors are being studied. Brain scans of people with OCD have shown that they have different patterns of brain activity than people without OCD and that different functioning of circuitry within a certain part of the brain, the striatum, may cause the disorder. Differences in other parts of the brain and an imbalance of brain chemicals, especially serotonin and dopamine, may also contribute to OCD.[30] Independent studies have consistently found unusual dopamine and serotonin activity in various regions of the brain in individuals with OCD. These can be defined as dopaminergic hyperfunction in the prefrontal cortex and serotonergic hypofunction in the basal ganglia.[31][32][33]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder
Sexual obsessions
Sexual obsessions are obsessions with sex, and in the context of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) these are extremely common (Foa et al., 1995). It can become extremely debilitating, making the sufferer ashamed of the symptoms and reluctant to seek help. Preoccupation with sexual matters, however, does not only occur as a symptom of OCD and may be enjoyable in other contexts (i.e. sexual fantasy).
Sexual focus
Hypersexuality
Because sex carries significant emotional, moral, and religious importance, it often becomes a magnet for obsessions in people predisposed to OCD. Common themes include unfaithfulness, deviant behaviors, pedophilia, the unfaithfulness or suitability of one's partner, and profane thoughts combining religion and sex. People with sexual obsessions may have legitimate concerns about their attractiveness, potency, or partner, which can serve as an unconscious catalyst for the obsessions.
Sexual obsessions take many forms. For example, a father might obsess about sexually abusing his daughter. He might wonder if these thoughts mean that he is a pedophile and worry that he could act them out, despite the fact that he has never sexually abused anyone and feels disgusted by the idea. Another example is a man who worries that he may accidentally impregnate a woman by shaking her hand because he was not careful enough in washing his hands after touching his genitals.[3] A patient may also experience fears that their obsession has already been carried out.
In the midst of the thoughts, the sexual obsessions may seem real. Occasionally, individuals with OCD believe that their obsession is true, and in such a case they would be said to have "poor insight." But the vast majority of people with OCD recognize at some point that their fears are extreme and unrealistic. The problem is that even though they know the obsession is false, it feels real. These individuals can't understand why they are unable to dismiss the obsession from their minds. The obsession may temporarily subside in the face of a logical argument or reassurance from others, but may spike when caught off guard by a sexual trigger.[2]
Sexual obsessions can be particularly troubling to the individual with OCD, as something important and cherished becomes twisted into its nightmarish opposite. People with sexual obsessions are particularly likely to have co-occurring aggressive and religious obsessions, clinical depression, and higher rates of impulse control disorders.[1]
Self-Doubt
Obsessions often reflect a vulnerable self-theme where the person doubts their real or actual self.[4] Doubt and uncertainty linger with sexual obsessions. They provide several contradictions which include: uncertainty as to whether you would act on these or whether you have already acted upon them, and uncertainty as to whether you are liking the thoughts (even though you know you don't) needless to say these cause an increase in anxiety, doubt, and uncertainty.[5]
Another form of OCD that can take hold of a person is a fear that they do not love their partner sufficiently (ROCD). As with sexual obsessions, and quite often in response to them, a person may feel the need to end a perfectly good relationship based on their inability to feel how they want to. Instead of finding good in their partner, they are constantly focused on their shortcomings. They often overexaggerate these "flaws" and use them to prove the relationship is fundamentally bad. Even when they know they love someone, they constantly check and reassure themselves that it is the right feeling. When they attempt to end the relationship, a surge of anxiety takes hold of them because, although free from the obsessive thoughts, they may realize that they prematurely ended a good relationship. The fact that they are unable to concentrate on anything but their partner's flaws causes the sufferer great anxiety, and often leads to a strained relationship.
Avoidance
In the same way that those who have OCD fears of contamination avoid anything that will 'contaminate' them (i.e., doorknobs, puddles, shaking hands), those who are suffering from such sexual obsessions may feel an overpowering need to avoid all contact with anything that can cause them to have anxiety, or 'spike'. Such avoidance may include: Not looking at (for instance) another member of the same sex in the face, avoiding locker rooms, showers, and beaches, etc. It can also mean avoiding sexual situations with members of the opposite sex, for fear of what a particular circumstance (not being aroused enough, intrusive thoughts, etc.) might mean. A sufferer may also avoid hugging children, including their own, a compulsion which may cause severe damage to the well-being of the child. It may cause social problems as the sufferer avoids being with gay, or straight, friends, or people with children. The social isolation feeds the anxiety, and therefore the OCD.
Sexual ideation
It cannot be overemphasized that the sexual obsessions in OCD are the opposite of the usual sexual daydream or fantasy. The thoughts are not really part of the person's identity, but they are the sort of thoughts or impulses the person with OCD fears that he/she may have (Aardema & O'Connor, 2003, 2007). The sexual ideation in OCD is unpleasant and distressing for the person with OCD. The individual with OCD does not want the thought to become real. The idea of acting out the obsession fills the OCD victim with dread (Gordon 2002). The sexual ideation in such situations is termed "ego-dystonic" or ego-alien, meaning that the behavior and/or attitudes are seen by the individual as inconsistent with his or her fundamental beliefs and personality. Sexual obsessions in OCD rarely produce sexual arousal because anxiety and arousal cannot occupy the same space[citation needed]. As a result, OCD usually decreases sex drive. However, the sufferer's constant focus on not becoming aroused or checking that they do not become aroused may lead to 'groinal response'. Many OCD sufferers take this groinal response as actual arousal, when in reality it is not. OCD sexual obsessions often result in guilt, shame, and may interfere with social functioning or work. On the subject of sexual arousal. Maybe 40% of sufferers (number could be higher due to the embarrassment associated) also report some accompanying physiological arousal. Reactions can include increased heart rate, a feeling of being turned on, and even erections, increased lubrication (in women), and orgasm. This response typically generates more confusion and uncertainty. Normally however this is a conditioned physiological response in the primitive thalamus of a brain which does not identify the thought as sex with a particular person, just sex. This is generally not indicative of one's own personal desires. (Osgood-Hynes)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_obsessions
Doi barbati si o femeie. Ei au prezervatize fosforescente, menage a trois Star Wars. Zoom- zoom!
"The white force is down! Let's reunite the Force!"
Zoom - laser frate!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5807sK4PqA
Iar e noapte. Pandesc pe langa casele acelea insiruite ca vulturii pe langa prada, si astept un moment. N-as putea spune ce, aud soapte de oameni si vreau sa-i ocolesc. Sunt adunati prin curti iar eu ii observ in treacat, cu inima ajunsa in gat, asa tarandu-ma pe langa pardoseli de garaje. Nici nu ma uit prea bine in jur, daca as observa ceva clar, sigur as ramane mai mult timp pe loc. In dreapta mea se deschide o gaura imensa, cu pereti moi de pamant umed, in fundul careia se intrec si se lovesc masini. Intotdeauna zbor prea jos, iar mainile intinse ale oamenilor ma opresc din cand in cand… Fosnai la randul meu frunzele copacilor, si simt crengutele subtiri si intoarse cum imi zgarie fata. In fata gurii de metrou, infundata de apa, se misca resturi de gunoaie vegetale si bule de aer. Arata moale ca o perna semi transparenta, in mijlocul Ramnicului plin de duzi si de tei. Ma arunc in ea ca intr-o imbratisare rece, dinamica in staticul ei, pulsatorie prin toate firele pielii care nu-mi apartin de fapt. Prin ochii inchisi, genele devin mici dinti ascutiti care-mi musca ochii si obrajii. Lichidul acela dens cu miros de fier ma ineaca, imi umfla plamanii ca niste bureti uscati si nefolositi de mult prea mult timp.
Nu vrem sa-i deranjam. Sunt sensibili la lumina.
Prima gura de aer. Dureroasa. Nu e de mirare ca nu mai tinem minte. Lumea e adunata pe langa sinele de tren, ce ciudat, aici nu mai e apa, nici stropi, nici urme. Ma controlez si observ ca am o gaura in piept, iar coastele-mi sunt sparte si ascutite. Pot sa-i observ pe ceilalti din spatele meu prin ea, femei, barbati, copii… toti in haine ponosite si zdrentuite, cu sacose mari, galbene, din plastic impletit. Si atunci incep sa rad. Sunt inauntru, asezata pe cele doua scaune gemene, si rad tinandu-ma de spatiul acela gol, dar nu ca sa ma acopar. O femeie varstnica scuipa in san si isi face cruce. O alta o intoarce insa, punandu-i mainile pe dupa umeri, dar nu dinspre mine. E ceva pe tavan si ma simt nevoita sa ridic ochii. Doar cerul. Clar si albastru, ametitor… Copilul divin face baie. Sunt eu cea care sta cu picioarele pe pamant, si toti ceilalti invers, cu capul in jos. Fiecare din ei sunt tot eu, o imagine multifatetata, cu reflexii pe diverse bucati, ca un film developat gresit, sunt tot eu cea care se tine de bara, cea care urla in mijlocul multimii, cel care citeste o pagina de ziar rupta, scrisa cu litere chirilice. Poze alb-negru din alte vieti trecute…
Iar e zi. Observ lumina printre genele ochilor intredeschisi, pe ecranul carora imi apare in dreapta jos “Nicio forma de viata”. Scarile colcaie insa, ma feresc de vase de drenaj si de manusi chirugicale murdare. Picioarele de paianjen din metal si beton armat pe care le urc la nesfarsit ma aduc in mijlocul unui subsol intunecat , cu miros umed de putregai. Pardoseala luceste in urme cleioase, lasate parca de niste melci enormi fara casa. In drum, strivesc ceva viu sub talpa, o carne moale si calda, care se desface exact ca o palma in 5 directii, emanand aceeasi bula de miros de putregai. Totul se rastoarna de sus in jos.
Picioarele mele sunt copite care se transforma in gheare ascutite, care la randul lor se transforma in aripi de liliac. Strabat parcul IOR cand in zbor, cand in fuga, calcand apa murdara, stropindu-mi corpul si strivindu-mi cand blana, cand aripile, cand pielea. Devine enorm, zeci de lacuri se desprind din el, zeci de insule incep sa pluteasca sau sa se scufunde in urma mea… un adevarat carusel pe care il urc, dar nu ajung niciodata sa-l cobor.
Pentru ca intotdeauna in punctul cel mai inalt se rupe sina.
Pe strada toti oamenii sunt grupati. In stanga mea, un grup de femei jupuie un animal de viu, un pui de tigru galben, pe care il lovesc in cap cu piatra, si-l taie pe burta cu sisurile. E prea slabit ca sa mai riposteze, suera incet, cu sunete de balon de grasime care se desumfla. Ma arunc in gramada lor si musc pe cineva de gat. Sangele cald tasneste in toate directiile, si toti se dau in spate, privindu-mi restul de carne care imi atarna de gura, si ochii rosii care sclipesc de turbare.
- E al meu! E al meu! E al meu! E al meu! De doua ori al meu, de trei ori chiar. Intelegeti? De cinci ori al meu, ca cinci e o cifra mai buna. Nu, de 10 ori e al meu, ca 1+0 face tot 1, si asa ne intoarcem de unde am plecat si nu e normal. E al meu! De 11 ori!
Il strang intr-un prosop si il iau in brate. Are ochii albastrii de margele iar blana murdara si incleiata se revarsa peste incheieturile mainilor mele… ii prind sclipirea rasuflarii, ma gandesc ca iar trebuie sa ma scufund in apa aceea de deasupra mea, si apoi incep sa imi ling ranile. Gaura din piept e de fapt o taietura.
Iar e noapte. Stam grupati in pat, cu usa de la camera incuiata, cu aluminiu subtire pus in ferestre, cu masa de lemn langa noi, lemn jupuit si scorojit de atatea lichide varsate pe ea de-a lungul anilor, si ne tinem de maini. Fratii. Din cand in cand, cate unul se ridica din pat si se indreapta spre usa. Observam ca are degetele cianotice, culoare care se misca de-a lungul venelor de pe incheietura, pana sus spre umeri.
Sunt sensibili la intuneric.
Aceeasi ochi de sticla tulbure, aceeasi incordare a corpului, spasme care incep sa-i contorsioneze, oase care se rup. Si ies pe usa.
Raman singura. Iar ma ascund pe langa pardoseli de garaje, pe vine, si rasuflu fier si sulf. Groapa fluida din dreapta mea se misca si ea, odata cu mersul meu tarat. Ajunge atat de aproape incat o simt ca pe o fiinta vie, dornica de contopire, o nevoie de simbioza pe care o inteleg . Indoi mana spre ceafa,si incep sa smulg suvite de par, pe care le umezesc sub forma de smocuri.
Sa numar pana la 11, vreau sa apuc sa numar pana la 11.
***
Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety, or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. Symptoms of the disorder include excessive washing or cleaning; repeated checking; extreme hoarding; preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts; aversion to particular numbers; and nervous rituals, such as opening and closing a door a certain number of times before entering or leaving a room. These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoid and potentially psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their obsessions and compulsions as irrational, and may become further distressed by this realization.
Biological
OCD has been linked to abnormalities with the neurotransmitter serotonin, although it could be either a cause or an effect of these abnormalities. Serotonin is thought to have a role in regulating anxiety. To send chemical messages from one neuron to another, serotonin must bind to the receptor sites located on the neighboring nerve cell. It is hypothesized that the serotonin receptors of OCD sufferers may be relatively understimulated. This suggestion is consistent with the observation that many OCD patients benefit from the use of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), a class of antidepressant medications that allow for more serotonin to be readily available to other nerve cells.[20]
A possible genetic mutation may contribute to OCD. A mutation has been found in the human serotonin transporter gene, hSERT, in unrelated families with OCD.[21] Moreover, data from identical twins supports the existence of a "heritable factor for neurotic anxiety".[22] Further, individuals with OCD are more likely to have first-degree family members exhibiting the same disorders than do matched controls. In cases where OCD develops during childhood, there is a much stronger familial link in the disorder than cases in which OCD develops later in adulthood. In general, genetic factors account for 45-65% of OCD symptoms in children diagnosed with the disorder.[23] Environmental factors also play a role in how these anxiety symptoms are expressed; various studies on this topic are in progress and the presence of a genetic link is not yet definitely established.
People with OCD evince increased grey matter volumes in bilateral lenticular nuclei, extending to the caudate nuclei, while decreased grey matter volumes in bilateral dorsal medial frontal/anterior cingulate gyri.[24][25] These findings contrast with those in people with other anxiety disorders, who evince decreased (rather than increased) grey matter volumes in bilateral lenticular / caudate nuclei, while also decreased grey matter volumes in bilateral dorsal medial frontal/anterior cingulate gyri.[25] Orbitofrontal cortex overactivity is attenuated in patients who have successfully responded to SSRI medication, a result believed to be caused by increased stimulation of serotonin receptors 5-HT2A and 5-HT2C.[26] The striatum, linked to planning and the initiation of appropriate actions, has also been implicated; mice genetically engineered with a striatal abnormality exhibit OCD-like behavior, grooming themselves three times as frequently as ordinary mice.[27] Recent evidence supports the possibility of a heritable predisposition for neurological development favoring OCD.[28]
Rapid onset of OCD in children may be caused by Group A streptococcal infection, a condition hypothesized by its acronym PANDAS.[29]
Neurotransmitters role
Researchers have yet to pinpoint the exact cause of OCD, but brain differences, genetic influences, and environmental factors are being studied. Brain scans of people with OCD have shown that they have different patterns of brain activity than people without OCD and that different functioning of circuitry within a certain part of the brain, the striatum, may cause the disorder. Differences in other parts of the brain and an imbalance of brain chemicals, especially serotonin and dopamine, may also contribute to OCD.[30] Independent studies have consistently found unusual dopamine and serotonin activity in various regions of the brain in individuals with OCD. These can be defined as dopaminergic hyperfunction in the prefrontal cortex and serotonergic hypofunction in the basal ganglia.[31][32][33]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder
Sexual obsessions
Sexual obsessions are obsessions with sex, and in the context of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) these are extremely common (Foa et al., 1995). It can become extremely debilitating, making the sufferer ashamed of the symptoms and reluctant to seek help. Preoccupation with sexual matters, however, does not only occur as a symptom of OCD and may be enjoyable in other contexts (i.e. sexual fantasy).
Sexual focus
Hypersexuality
Because sex carries significant emotional, moral, and religious importance, it often becomes a magnet for obsessions in people predisposed to OCD. Common themes include unfaithfulness, deviant behaviors, pedophilia, the unfaithfulness or suitability of one's partner, and profane thoughts combining religion and sex. People with sexual obsessions may have legitimate concerns about their attractiveness, potency, or partner, which can serve as an unconscious catalyst for the obsessions.
Sexual obsessions take many forms. For example, a father might obsess about sexually abusing his daughter. He might wonder if these thoughts mean that he is a pedophile and worry that he could act them out, despite the fact that he has never sexually abused anyone and feels disgusted by the idea. Another example is a man who worries that he may accidentally impregnate a woman by shaking her hand because he was not careful enough in washing his hands after touching his genitals.[3] A patient may also experience fears that their obsession has already been carried out.
In the midst of the thoughts, the sexual obsessions may seem real. Occasionally, individuals with OCD believe that their obsession is true, and in such a case they would be said to have "poor insight." But the vast majority of people with OCD recognize at some point that their fears are extreme and unrealistic. The problem is that even though they know the obsession is false, it feels real. These individuals can't understand why they are unable to dismiss the obsession from their minds. The obsession may temporarily subside in the face of a logical argument or reassurance from others, but may spike when caught off guard by a sexual trigger.[2]
Sexual obsessions can be particularly troubling to the individual with OCD, as something important and cherished becomes twisted into its nightmarish opposite. People with sexual obsessions are particularly likely to have co-occurring aggressive and religious obsessions, clinical depression, and higher rates of impulse control disorders.[1]
Self-Doubt
Obsessions often reflect a vulnerable self-theme where the person doubts their real or actual self.[4] Doubt and uncertainty linger with sexual obsessions. They provide several contradictions which include: uncertainty as to whether you would act on these or whether you have already acted upon them, and uncertainty as to whether you are liking the thoughts (even though you know you don't) needless to say these cause an increase in anxiety, doubt, and uncertainty.[5]
Another form of OCD that can take hold of a person is a fear that they do not love their partner sufficiently (ROCD). As with sexual obsessions, and quite often in response to them, a person may feel the need to end a perfectly good relationship based on their inability to feel how they want to. Instead of finding good in their partner, they are constantly focused on their shortcomings. They often overexaggerate these "flaws" and use them to prove the relationship is fundamentally bad. Even when they know they love someone, they constantly check and reassure themselves that it is the right feeling. When they attempt to end the relationship, a surge of anxiety takes hold of them because, although free from the obsessive thoughts, they may realize that they prematurely ended a good relationship. The fact that they are unable to concentrate on anything but their partner's flaws causes the sufferer great anxiety, and often leads to a strained relationship.
Avoidance
In the same way that those who have OCD fears of contamination avoid anything that will 'contaminate' them (i.e., doorknobs, puddles, shaking hands), those who are suffering from such sexual obsessions may feel an overpowering need to avoid all contact with anything that can cause them to have anxiety, or 'spike'. Such avoidance may include: Not looking at (for instance) another member of the same sex in the face, avoiding locker rooms, showers, and beaches, etc. It can also mean avoiding sexual situations with members of the opposite sex, for fear of what a particular circumstance (not being aroused enough, intrusive thoughts, etc.) might mean. A sufferer may also avoid hugging children, including their own, a compulsion which may cause severe damage to the well-being of the child. It may cause social problems as the sufferer avoids being with gay, or straight, friends, or people with children. The social isolation feeds the anxiety, and therefore the OCD.
Sexual ideation
It cannot be overemphasized that the sexual obsessions in OCD are the opposite of the usual sexual daydream or fantasy. The thoughts are not really part of the person's identity, but they are the sort of thoughts or impulses the person with OCD fears that he/she may have (Aardema & O'Connor, 2003, 2007). The sexual ideation in OCD is unpleasant and distressing for the person with OCD. The individual with OCD does not want the thought to become real. The idea of acting out the obsession fills the OCD victim with dread (Gordon 2002). The sexual ideation in such situations is termed "ego-dystonic" or ego-alien, meaning that the behavior and/or attitudes are seen by the individual as inconsistent with his or her fundamental beliefs and personality. Sexual obsessions in OCD rarely produce sexual arousal because anxiety and arousal cannot occupy the same space[citation needed]. As a result, OCD usually decreases sex drive. However, the sufferer's constant focus on not becoming aroused or checking that they do not become aroused may lead to 'groinal response'. Many OCD sufferers take this groinal response as actual arousal, when in reality it is not. OCD sexual obsessions often result in guilt, shame, and may interfere with social functioning or work. On the subject of sexual arousal. Maybe 40% of sufferers (number could be higher due to the embarrassment associated) also report some accompanying physiological arousal. Reactions can include increased heart rate, a feeling of being turned on, and even erections, increased lubrication (in women), and orgasm. This response typically generates more confusion and uncertainty. Normally however this is a conditioned physiological response in the primitive thalamus of a brain which does not identify the thought as sex with a particular person, just sex. This is generally not indicative of one's own personal desires. (Osgood-Hynes)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_obsessions
Doi barbati si o femeie. Ei au prezervatize fosforescente, menage a trois Star Wars. Zoom- zoom!
"The white force is down! Let's reunite the Force!"
Zoom - laser frate!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5807sK4PqA
joi, 7 aprilie 2011
Status indefinit; în ceaţă weee - weee se ascund dihăniile.
Eu as spune ca visele raman vise. Aspiratia la un super eu... si intre timp, poti sa te prefaci ca viata ta casnica si banala se poate transforma la versiunea imbunatatita 1.2, printr-o gaura neagra, deschisa in plafonul din sufragerie, ca si ...o complicitate universala despre evolutionism, unde toate obiectele se transforma in biomasa constructiva direct vizibila ochiului, absorbita de forta gravitationala imensa si captata impreuna cu lumina dar fara acei 300.000 km/sec, in timp ce esti imbracata in rochie de seara si gatesti cina cu telul. Iti dai seama ca o sa ai perdelele murdare?
Sunteti la fel de vioi ca atunci cand erati in viata!
(Mixo devenise inspaimantator de sentimentala).
luni, 21 februarie 2011
D-zeu online
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO8KPWnL0cY
Atunci cand adaugi intr-o parte, se spune ca iei din alta; o balanta care se misca in favoarea unui scop si in defavoarea altuia. Organizatie sufocanta in limite determinate subiectiv, unde subiectivitatea e emotionalul ca si contorizator .
Idei care genereaza miscari, puzderie de mici corpuri in viata, expulzate cu miile, ca o nastere dureroasa, resturi, tesut rupt, excremente, sange, sclipiri, toate imprastiate inapoia albului denumit si “ziua”. O plasa, da, un paianjen, asta e, un corp rubicon pulsatoriu, hexagonal, cu 8 picioare subtiri, infipte adanc in fiinta fiecaruia. Miscarea genereaza staticul. Cu cat te misti mai repede, cu atat mai nemiscat esti.
Nu intelegi o iota din ce spun aici :)
Realul si irealul. Fenomene sau trairi care se intampla in afara zonei de confort, a explicatiilor normale cotidiene. Care tin de ilogica si simturi. Ceea ce pare extrem de real pentru persoana in cauza, sunt sentimente, SENTIMENTE, anxietate, incordare, asteptare... pentru ceilalti e doar o forma de nebunie si exagerare. Banalitatea nu este incurabila. Nu este o ciuma sau o ebola. Trebuie ca esti foarte limitat si dezamagitor de simplu daca te opresti la explicatia ca nu exista... explicatie. Ca doar ti se pare. Fiintele alea sunt mai bune decat tine, prin simplul fapt ca sunt mai dezvoltate emotional, sistem de aparare ascutit, cu forme non verbale de conversatie dezvoltate. A picta pe fata sau pe panza e ca si cand ti-ai face tu propriul univers in care sa-ti poti urla nevoile, cu gura strans inchisa, in care tu insuti iti incepi existenta odata cu trasarea liniilor fetei, a fondului de ten sau a rujului. O masca (ma intreb ce vezi cand te uiti in oglinda).
Se spune ca singurul cuvant care aduce pacea in orice situatie, este “Iisus”. Am incercat-o, este adevarat. Devii dependent de religie, obsedat la un moment dat de un ideal de puritate si dragoste infinita. Cauti raspunsuri si rezolvari. Diavolul este un inger decazut si inca iubit. Compasiunea este cea a fiintelor care se stiu si se recunosc dupa semnele specifice. Intrebarile nu sunt bine puse, scumpa mea :) te apara? Ok. Dar te “vindeca”?
Exact.
Rezolvarea o gasesti in momentul 0 si 1. Acela care a generat forma asta de dementa reala, si acela care a determinat izbucnirea lui. O sa accepti toti acei monstrii invizibili, si n-o sa-ti mai fie frica, pentru ca ei nu sunt chiar asa negativi, ci doar isi bat joc de tine. O impacare intre lumi, si o pierdere a exprimarii aceea non-verbale.
Ai putea?
Nemiscarea face ca oamenii sa-si aduca din senin cate o arma automata, si sa inceapa sa-si impuste semenii.
miercuri, 2 februarie 2011
Echipa de reincarnare "racolati, fii Mei, ptr Iad"
Asa ceva nu se poate!
Uite de-a dracu’ ma inversunez si numai intentionat fac in ciuda “impotrivei”. Hai sa vedem unde ajungem cu asta: Anul Domnului 2011;
candva intr-un AM:
Destinul: Te-am sunat ieri. Telepatic. Ca mana mea si-a pierdut puterile kinetice si puterea valorii “A-ti pune mana in cap”; bineinteles ca nu ai raspuns.
Eu: Mi-a murit o planta ieri. De fapt, nu ieri, acum o luna, am aruncat-o la gunoi. Cred ca am uitat, dar ce stiu eu, sunt inca vesela, desi nu sunt planta. Si nici verde.
Destinul: Apasa-l. Apasa-l. Apasa-l. Apasaaaa-l.
Eu: Am visat la concursurile nationale de karate. Eram karateka Shotokan cu Centura neagra 2 dani, si straluceam in kimonoul meu alb dalb. Ce misto eram! Faceam la kata cum sparg altii seminte pe geam si cum isi flutura unele tricourile peste lenjerie! Mie-mi flutura parul in forma de sarpe desi eram (eram?!) tunsa baieteste. Inutil sa mai zic ca nu am ajuns niciodata mai sus de Portocaliu si de etamina alb murdara.
Destinul: Am lasat legatura deschisa. Alo?
Eu: Pai pana cand?
Destinul: Aveai o pana Arlequin. Ai lasat-o cadou ca o proasta ce esti. Si mai ranjesti cu ochii aia de bovina desueta cu talanga la gat. Dreapta – stanga; dreapta – stanga, zic pasii tai, ca Just – nejust;
Eu: mah eu cred ca Tu esti o persoana in etate care de senilitate isi vede imprejurimile senine. Formal si infernal. Ai o mie de pisici negre in jurul tau si fumezi etno-botanice. Daca vin la tine acasa si-ti declar ficusul ca niciodata nu am inteles de ce oamenii tin in casa plante ca ficusul care nu fac flori cu petale ci doar niste muguri de Frunze galbioare...
Destinul: Gaseste tu asemanarile.
Eu: ... pana acum!
Destinul: Nu am mai vorbit de mult. Am vorbit ieri!
Eu: Am vorbit si azi. Si am vazut iar strada aia plina de rahati si de urme albe cauciucate.
Prostiile alea cu batista bunicii la gat chiar se poarta? Le numesc “rochite” si ‘tutu” si “frumu” da’s niste toale penale de copii hyperi cu cizme colorate fluorescent ca-n marketurile din China. Poze cu copii parasiti.
De ce dracului am venit eu azi la serviciu?
Eu: hello
sunt o admiratoare secreta
Destinul: uuuuu
Eu: te-am observat zilele acestea
la tigara
Destinul: de mic mi-am dorit asa ceva
Eu: iesi cu niste fatalai de obicei
Destinul: ?
Eu: dar tu iesi in evidenta
Destinul: am rosit deja pana la mustati
Eu: asta e bine sau rau?
hai, fii rau
fii pitt bull
Destinul: miaaaaaaaaau
hsssssssss
Eu: zat!
Destinul: rooooooooooarrrrrrrrr
cucuriguuuuuuuuu
Eu: gata gata
Destinul: bai, dar arhanghelul Mihai asta... o arde numai de acasa
Eu: ai instinct de animal
Destinul: sunt invidios
Eu: esti caine, pisica, broasca, orice
am inteles
Destinul: pai sunt indecis, confuz, dar ma voi decide in curand
Eu: astept astept
Destinul: e o ambitie de-a mea
Eu: tu la ce echipa esti?
Racolati ptr Iad?
13?
Destinul: da, destinul ne este tragic, adica eu insumi ca sunt alternativ
we already crashed and burned
Eu: viitorul e rupt in gura
auzi
cine drq era aia frate?
o cunoasteti voi?
Destinul: don't ask
iti voi povesti chestii interesante la urmatoarea chemare
Eu: pai tocmai am facut-o
ha?
nu-mi spune
a fost barbat inainte
Destinul: e o situatie deosebita cu ea
Eu: zi-mi
I can take it
really
barfim
e speciala?
participa la olimpiadele alea?
CINE EEEEEEEEE
hai ca mor aici cu mana Ta dreapta
nu mai putem
Destinul: pai e din training, si noi ne facusem un grupulet
eu cu 2 tipe mai ok
si s-a inserat si ea
la inceput am zis ca.....e ok
we were mistakeeeeeeeen
Eu: asaaaaaaaa
pai?
Destinul: si e foarte piti, gen
si e tampa
nu percuteaza
Eu: O fi dintr-o secta
mai stii
)) oki
deci acum stim cum sa ne purtam cu ea
Mana Lui dreapta: auzi, piti ca piti dar nu prea o ajuta fizicul
Eu: hai sa vedem cat rezista
facem teste de anduranta
Destinul: faza naspa e ca si arhanghelitele celelalte doua o cam barfesc
cu miiiiiiiiine
Eu: pai hai sa le barfim si p-alea
Destinul: si eu sunt bland
Eu: PE TOATE
Destinul: nu nu
ca ele sunt ok
Eu: I donnot fucking care
ia cheama-le si pe ele la tigara
Destinul: you iz fucking evil
Eu: cheama toti orfanii aia din Racoltai ptr Iad
sa facem un mic get together
Mana Lui dreapta: glumesti G.
Destinul: o sa vedeti ca sunt simpatice
Mana Lui dreapta: cum naiba sa vina toti de pe Racolati ptr Iad la tigara, ca sunt 20
Eu: unde va e simtul umorului?
Mana Lui dreapta: eu vreau sa vina tipul chelios
Eu: nu toti in acelasi timp
pe rand
pe rand
Destinul: e una mai simpatica asa ca..na
ma intelegi si pe mine
dadada
Eu: opaaaa
Destinul: pe rand si dati feedback
Eu: destinul vrea sa marcheze?
cu fata aia?
fatza
Destinul: asa imi spune si mama
tu cu fata aia de catelus vrei sa pari badass
Eu: aoleu
Eu: e grav
singura persoana de pe lumea asta care te iubeste
auzi mah
Destinul: da mah
Eu: tu cat rezisti?
la glume proaste?
sa-mi zici daca incepi sa plangi
Destinul: aa
eu nu ma supar
sunt rezistent
si i have comebacks de obicei
mai clachez si eu dar na..suntem oameni
de ce? ce duma it sta pe limba?
Eu: o tin ptr mai tarziu
sunt gusterii pe aici
Mana Lui dreapta: sa nu te superi pe ea, sub infatisarea ei feroce este o inima mare
si neagra
Eu: =))))) un chihuahua turbat care alearga cu un picior de om in gura
Destinul: wow
esti mai bolnavioara decat mine. ma primesti as your little padawan learner
maaaaaaaster
Mana Lui dreapta: naspa
Destinul: dar cu ambitie si perseverenta te pot intrece
mi s-a spus ca am potential
Eu: cativa baieti au strigat "group hug"
frate
acesta nu este un mediu sanatos
psihic
Mana Lui dreapta: ce ai ma? poate ca ei sunt confortabili cu sexualitatea lor
Eu: pai tocmai
si noi, cu a noastra
cred k e un conflict de moralitate aici
Destinul: eu nu vreau sa vad oligofreni care se imbratiseaza si isi pun mana pe fund
pe ascuns
Eu: da exact
macar sa fie pe fatza
Destinul: sa stim si noi
sa nu ma trezesc cu mana in pantaloni
cause i would go kong fu on their ass
Destinul: huaaaaaa
low kick
croch kick
Eu: sa avem soprane
Destinul: hahahahahahaha
Eu: sa cante cristiii cristiiii masssterrrrr
Destinul: lasa ca astia sunt buni de craciun
fac atmosfera
Destinul: gata? munciti acum?
Condamnati oameni la penitenta infinita?
Mana Lui dreapta: si acum dam legatura trimisului special la fata locului, senzational si in direct numai la Zoo Tv de pe Racolati ptr Iad... destinul..... Desti, care este atmosfera pe Racolati ptr Iad? Cum se comporta multimea?
noi nu muncim niciodata....
Eu: multimea a luat-o razna
Destinul: trebuie sa precizez ca atmosfera aste una foarte calda
Mana Lui dreapta: Destinule, spune-ne macar care este echipa de start si cine joaca pe linia de fund?
Destinul: noi cobai sunt foarte entuziastmati de oportunitatea de a deveni little robots
Eu: de la cine sug mai bine?
Destinul: oamenii pe langa mine isi fac temele, vb de munca si au in general o stare de ignoranta completa
Eu: Desti?
nu ne lasa cu sufletul la gura
Destinul: yeeeees
mai haideti sa luam un interviu
Eu: stati ca avem un telefon in direct
Destinul: domnisoara....domnisoara .....domnisooooooooooara!!!!!!!!!!!
Eu: ia bag-o p-aia in conferinta
Destinul: asa
Eu: cu noi
acum
Destinul: caca
Mana Lui dreapta: nuuu
Destinul: dudeeeeeeeeee
Eu: ba daaaaaaaaaa
Destinul: you evil person
Eu: ia
Destinul: you gonna die in hell
Eu: te-ai umplut de maro?
Destinul: tell Satan i said hi
Mana Lui dreapta: ajuta-ne ca sa te ajutam'
Eu: i-e fricaaa
zi-ne cum o cheama
o bagam noi
Eu: bah
sunt doua, teresa si antonia
o cheama si antonia?
Mana Lui dreapta: antonica
nu antonia
Eu: sofica
hai sa-i spunem Tony
Destinul: nu
Eu: ce ziceti?
Destinul: i se potriveste
Destinul: focuuuuus
Mana Lui dreapta: yes, focuss
Eu: focussssss
hello Tony
noi suntem aia cu care ai iesit la tigara acum
asl pls
Mana Lui dreapta: :)))))
Destinul: wtf...
Eu: oughh
Tony: 24 f Buc
Mana Lui dreapta: ahhhhhhhh
Eu: taken?
Mana Lui dreapta: urat, era o gluma
Eu: ca sa stim cat ne lungim la glume
Tony: ne lungim cat ne tine
Eu: oke
super
un raspuns demn de o lady
noi suntem cam de la zoo asa
mai ales Destinul
Destinul: baaaaaai
Eu: adineaori se facea animal, dar nu stim din ce rasa
Destinul: oamenii astia nu ma cunosc
ii vad maine cu lesa
Eu: Desti, preia legatura de la fata locului
Destinul: sau cusca pt papagal
=))
Eu: so
Tony
Destinul: dar de fapt
Eu: ce cauti tu aici?
Destinul: eu ma simt bine in lanturi
Eu: zi-ne povestea
Destinul: acum ca ma gandesc mai bine
Eu: Racolati, fii mei, ptr Iad?
sau Forest Gump?
Destinul: 13? matipan papanasi si scotisoasa?
Mana Lui dreapta: mariah carey ? sau metallica?
Tony: Racolati ptr Iad da nu stim care
numar
Eu: 13
Tony: sper nu 13
Eu: )) viitorul suna prost
Mana Lui dreapta: ba da 13, ca e cu noroc
Tony: bine ca doar suna si nu se vede
Destinul: sa muriiiiiiim cu totiiiiiii
Eu: o sa ne internam la 9
da
la baietii in alb
dincolo era mai ieftin
Mana Lui dreapta: da; halatu'.... cat e halatu'?
Eu: gata?
pauza?
breath in/ out?
munciti mah?
sau e Dumnezeu acolo?
Tony: eu fac tema de acid clorhidric
Eu: Mano dreapta!
Mana Lui dreapta: hai ca atunci o ardem mai tarziu
Eu: astia ne dau flit
ce parere ai?
Destinul: =))
Tony: ia uite-te la ea
Mana Lui dreapta: eu o sa le dau raid
Destinul: eu am vazut ca daca folosesti domestos pe gaze are efect
Eu: mnoo bine, munciti fiilor
Eu: munciti
Destinul: dar dupa aia tre sa ii bagi la frigider
Mana Lui dreapta: hai ca merg si eu
ia stati asa
Eu: dudeeeesss
nu vrem
Mana Lui dreapta: Aer poluat
Destinul: cum sa nu >>>>>
wooooo
what the hell just happened
Eu: ue ue
lumeeeee
niste cancer va rugam?
si rest
in cat timp?
Destinul: 5
Eu: dar numai daca nu aveti trebi
Destinul: ?
Eu: teme
mememememe
Eu: Mana dreapta
Mana Lui dreapta: Tu?
Eu: luam iar animalele la plimbat?
prin tupishuri?
pi2, ca2
Mana Lui dreapta: co2
Destinul: number 2
Eu: destinule
Eu: esti no 2??????
Eu: this iz naspaaa
Destinul: stinky naspa
Eul: haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Mana Lui dreapta: vrei sa ne tinem de mana pe drum
?
Destinul: mami si tati
eu vreau sa fiu rasfatatul
Destinul: ne vedem pe hol
eu am miscat hoitu
Eu: wb
miercuri, 19 ianuarie 2011
Incotro?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34b_wWIcKnICheful de filozofat m-a plesnit in organ dinainte sa ma fi trezit eu. De fapt, asta m-a si determinat sa ma intorc pe partea cealalta, si sa mai consum un al doilea vis.
Ce pacat ca ne taram ca niste zombie, parca suntem numai posedati in tara asta. Romania, come live in my Heart ♥ and pay no rent!
“Si? Doar atat? Asta-i tot?”
Sensul universal se opreste la “ viata este frumoasa” dar de fapt sunt niste insiruiri de zile in care nu se intampla niciodata nimic. Teoria ordinii, in care esti doar o parte minuscula intr-o lege a cauzei si reactiei. Ceea ce nu te face deloc mai destept sau mai insemnat.
“In ce viata traiesti tu?”
De unde esti sigur ca tu esti personajul principal al vietii tale, sau nu esti o amintire trecuta a unei “divinitati”, o comedie nu alta, si ca toate experientele tale de fapt au fost ale altcuiva? Ce varsta o avea acea faptura? Odata cu universul, insemnand... cat? 2 ani umani? Si daca noi am pierit de mult timp, insa traim in visele cuiva, care se petrec mai mult sau mai putin acum? Ia gandeste-te putin la amintirile tale cele mai vechi. Esti sigur ca ai trait acel lucru? Ti le amintesti poate ca fiind ieri, insa daca te gandesti putin, locurile s-au estompat, fetele sunt neclare, sunetele sunt imbibate de cele prezente... sau poate ti-a povestit cineva de ele? Eu am amintiri ale copilariei altui copil. De ce nu as avea acum ziua altcuiva?
Si mai gandeste-te la un rol. Traiesti 60 de ani doar ca sa treci pe langa altcineva care determina ceva-ul ala care determina alt ceva-ul ala care determina alt ceva-ul ala care determina alt ceva-ul ala x ¥ O amintire in amintire in amintire. Toti o singura constiinta, un singur tesut. Fiecare celula din corpul nostru are propria ei constiinta de functionare, si impreuna concep o forma fixa. Neuronul stie de conul fotoreceptor si viceversa.
Repetitivitatea se ia. E un parazit care-si plimba corpul hidos, dintr-o gazda in alta. Blestemul superstitiei, se preia deasemenea prin unde magice determinate de ce temperatura ai tu in ficat. Jocul mental pe Hz si zemuri naturale in descompunere, intr-o simfonie chimica a conditiilor interne si externe.
“Si zboara nestingherite printre noi, doar ca noi nu le putem vedea.” Niste incapabili. Pana isi aleg cuplul care or sa le devina parinti. Si atunci, Ingerii se apleaca asupra lor si le spun toate tainele Paradisului, ca mai apoi sa le pecetluiasca vorba printr-un philtrum, Deasupra gurii zace ignoranta si uitarea.
Piramida lui Maslow. Cea mai buna gluma e religia.
Insumez zeci de vieti, mii de zile, milioane de minute, miliarde de stele siderate. Fondante si opace ca orbirea. Chiar imi aduc aminte cand printr-o malformatie din nastere, am avut 6 degete la o mana. Cel din mijloc se despartise pe plan vertical in doua, intr-o diformitate dureroasa si jenanta, lucru care a condus la o operatie. Operatia nu a avut loc niciodata, degetul meu e normal si nu prezinta semne de interventie, DAR, culmea ironiei a fost ca am inteles sensul degetului mijlociu la 10 ani dupa aceea.
„As the more perceptive of you probably realised by now, this is HELL. Damnation without relief for eternity...ooh which I hardly need tell you is a heck of a long time!
Ce pacat ca ne taram ca niste zombie, parca suntem numai posedati in tara asta. Romania, come live in my Heart ♥ and pay no rent!
“Si? Doar atat? Asta-i tot?”
Sensul universal se opreste la “ viata este frumoasa” dar de fapt sunt niste insiruiri de zile in care nu se intampla niciodata nimic. Teoria ordinii, in care esti doar o parte minuscula intr-o lege a cauzei si reactiei. Ceea ce nu te face deloc mai destept sau mai insemnat.
“In ce viata traiesti tu?”
De unde esti sigur ca tu esti personajul principal al vietii tale, sau nu esti o amintire trecuta a unei “divinitati”, o comedie nu alta, si ca toate experientele tale de fapt au fost ale altcuiva? Ce varsta o avea acea faptura? Odata cu universul, insemnand... cat? 2 ani umani? Si daca noi am pierit de mult timp, insa traim in visele cuiva, care se petrec mai mult sau mai putin acum? Ia gandeste-te putin la amintirile tale cele mai vechi. Esti sigur ca ai trait acel lucru? Ti le amintesti poate ca fiind ieri, insa daca te gandesti putin, locurile s-au estompat, fetele sunt neclare, sunetele sunt imbibate de cele prezente... sau poate ti-a povestit cineva de ele? Eu am amintiri ale copilariei altui copil. De ce nu as avea acum ziua altcuiva?
Si mai gandeste-te la un rol. Traiesti 60 de ani doar ca sa treci pe langa altcineva care determina ceva-ul ala care determina alt ceva-ul ala care determina alt ceva-ul ala care determina alt ceva-ul ala x ¥ O amintire in amintire in amintire. Toti o singura constiinta, un singur tesut. Fiecare celula din corpul nostru are propria ei constiinta de functionare, si impreuna concep o forma fixa. Neuronul stie de conul fotoreceptor si viceversa.
Repetitivitatea se ia. E un parazit care-si plimba corpul hidos, dintr-o gazda in alta. Blestemul superstitiei, se preia deasemenea prin unde magice determinate de ce temperatura ai tu in ficat. Jocul mental pe Hz si zemuri naturale in descompunere, intr-o simfonie chimica a conditiilor interne si externe.
“Si zboara nestingherite printre noi, doar ca noi nu le putem vedea.” Niste incapabili. Pana isi aleg cuplul care or sa le devina parinti. Si atunci, Ingerii se apleaca asupra lor si le spun toate tainele Paradisului, ca mai apoi sa le pecetluiasca vorba printr-un philtrum, Deasupra gurii zace ignoranta si uitarea.
Piramida lui Maslow. Cea mai buna gluma e religia.
Insumez zeci de vieti, mii de zile, milioane de minute, miliarde de stele siderate. Fondante si opace ca orbirea. Chiar imi aduc aminte cand printr-o malformatie din nastere, am avut 6 degete la o mana. Cel din mijloc se despartise pe plan vertical in doua, intr-o diformitate dureroasa si jenanta, lucru care a condus la o operatie. Operatia nu a avut loc niciodata, degetul meu e normal si nu prezinta semne de interventie, DAR, culmea ironiei a fost ca am inteles sensul degetului mijlociu la 10 ani dupa aceea.
„As the more perceptive of you probably realised by now, this is HELL. Damnation without relief for eternity...ooh which I hardly need tell you is a heck of a long time!
Feel Good" scria pe punga de hartie in care ea isi cumparase mancare de pranz.
Vai, ce trist.
Vai, ce trist.
joi, 6 ianuarie 2011
marți, 4 ianuarie 2011
Indian Kutuma
Editare fotografii, pornind de la concept, machiaj si imbracaminte, pana la tiparire sau imprimare :) In setul no. 2, model Georgiana D., stilul nomad!
Cu departajare: Sahara Olteniei! :)))) Mois!
Cu departajare: Sahara Olteniei! :)))) Mois!
Retro style running project
Editare fotografii, pornind de la concept, machiaj si imbracaminte, pana la tiparire sau imprimare :)
In setul no. 1, model Carmen C., stilul retro chic :D
In setul no. 1, model Carmen C., stilul retro chic :D
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